The stars above are shinning bright
On this cool collected night
The bullfrog hums in the grass
As I think of the year past
The fish are jumping down below
Putting on a little show
The waves are silent on the rocks
The sun has shrunk beneath the shore
Your touch is evident in the breeze
While I sit and cry here on my knees
It was one simple mistake
That brought me where I am today
Now there is nothing to do but think
And wonder if my world will shrink
'Cause missing you is so hard
'Cause missing you is so hard
Kali, after reading this poem I really loved how relatable you made it! I feel like anyone could compare to it and understand what the character has been through. But, I also love the fact that you didn't add the character's deep emotion until the end, you described more of the setting in the beginning which made it flow really well. Your imagery used throughout was very discriptive and I could easily picture your scene on a waterfront. "The waves are silent on the rocks" is definitely my favorite line of your poem. It's so ironic because you can always hear waves, but on this particular night she cannot because of her depressed emotional state.
ReplyDeleteI really like it I like how it started of so seemingly sweet and innocent and then transformed to be about something deeper.. :)
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